I create from instinct and research, it is kind of a delicate combination that I have not yet managed to understand fully. I somehow believe the best ideas are the instinctual ones, but who knows what is instinctual anyway and research probably results in instincts? Anyway, I do believe it is tricky to understand where my ideas or creations come from. They simply occur and they seem to always end up in a fairly similar (Ihatethisword) style.
Yesterday I found out about the artist David Shrigley, had a look through his work, and started growing an understanding of my own work that has not been clear to me before that moment. It was definitely a going-from-a-dark-cloudy-to-a-bright-sunny-sky-in-a-short-second-sort-of-moment. Shrigley's work is to me quite (what we would stereotypically state as) childlike, distinct and it screams for attention. LOOK AT ME. HEAR ME. SEE ME. That is my interpretation. It reminded me of humans' constant hunt for satisfaction, at the same time as trying to fit in (get confirmed by others) to the system around them. An impossible equation, if you ask me.
Drawing from that experience I began thinking further about the system of our society which we are born to accept and fit in to. We are born to jump up on a conveyor band driving in a circle. Born to accept whatever comes along the way (ish). Born to be a brick in the line of other bricks if we do not want to have a life which to some extent leads to exclusion. It is almost humorous what we have to accept in order to be accepted. Although, we could and will question it, but I mean, in the end, most of us probably do accept it because we don't want to die (just to be a bit dramatic), and that is fair. Though one of the biggest question marks of my existence up until today is still: how do we question the system without still getting trapped in capitalism and other structures? Because we honestly, seriously, sincerely, truly, truthfully, NO JOKING we need to question it!!! I do understand I am very privileged to be able to think about these things and that some people are trapped in a system that is basically working for my advantage in many ways. So maybe it is not as humoristic after all. Anyway, it is just A conveyor band, it is not THE conveyor band. The ones of us that are privileged enough to be able to question it, let's do it!
I could write for ages but I need to go pee standing up, I have practiced doing so not to be part of the system. Ok jokes. Thanks. Bye. No, but I think a lot of what I create comes from these ideas and the characters I am interested in are ones that are direct with their feelings, wishes, and needs. That are not accepting that they are a cultural or social product packaged and ready to be sent off. Characters that don't say or do what they should because they are adults or babies or white or tall anything else, because why would they? It is childish? Maybe. I think I want to create pieces that ask if we have to do it this way and suggest new ways. Whatever they might be? Or just suggests doing your own way. Or suggests nothing at all, but is questioning enough for you to start feeling a little bit uncomfortable or weird or questioning. Because just as Shrigley's artwork I believe, no I state, that we all have the childlike wishes, needs, and thoughts inside, but that we don't act on them. Because now that we are on the conveyor band it is difficult to jump off onto the scary real world with lions and other bodies and the sky that we know nothing about.
To end up this messy chapter of my brain I think the explosive thinking mind humans have been given. My explosive thinking. Your explosive thinking. Our ups and downs and serious and lightheartedness, our euphoric emotions and devastated ones exist for a reason. Lay on the floor and eat, ride a cow, jump on the conveyor band, live on a roof. PLAY.
And I'll keep creating from these thoughts.