I wanted to write and talk about applying for funding, not that I am (in any way!!!) experienced. As a matter of fact this last autumn was the first time I did it and that is the exact reason to why I want to share my point of view.
The photo attached above is explaining without words how I felt during the four weeks of writing applications. I felt (and this is an understatement) overwhelmed.
First of all, to be able to receive money I figured I needed a steady plan. And with "steady" I mean steady as a rock. Actually, steady as the rock-in-which-titanic-hit (sorry to bring that sad thing up). But this is facts, I did not only need a choreographic idea (which I obviously had), I also needed the plan around it to be waterproof. A person actually explained it like this to me: "When applying for money, it should almost be as if your performance will happen even without their money." THIS WAS AN AHA-BRAINFREEZE-MOMENT FOR MY OVERWHELMED SELF. Why apply for their money if I do not need them?
This is still, to this day, hard for me to understand. I kind of see it as a way for the government or city or whoever to tell all the new-comers that they did not receive money because they need to develop their plans more, when it is actually so much easier for them to pick the oldies-but goldies choreographers whom always receive money. I am very annoyed, sorry again (!), BUT 50000 times during this period from (kind of) everyone I asked I got the same answer: "Do not expect to receive money the first time you apply". And as a person of a big belief that your surroundings create your thoughts this massively explains why the chance of receiving funding you first time is tiny when the attitude of the whole community seems to be negative. I see some well-marinated things that could change here.
Anyway, I did the applications and was declined money. I was crying my eyes out on the day of the decision but at the same time this whole, overwhelming thing taught me so much I am grateful for the opposition. Sometimes (I've learned) struggle is good. I deeply hate the fact that money is controlling my dreams, but then again I need to find ways where I am in charge of the money-rolling-in-thing. That sounded crazy, but what I mean is that there are many ways and nevertheless, I am more ready than ever.
Thanks for reading. Hugs and love and take care